astrobek

and on and on and on

2009-11-10T10:57:56Z

If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to say them?

so chris knox had a stroke... wonder if it had anything to do with the year he spent in bed taking acid.. or is that story apocryphal.. is my spelling shocking. should be studying for my linguistics exam. don't know if i can pass. what a frightening prospect. failing a first year subject. but fuck working full time and going to uni is harder than i expected. head to melbourne 1st december. too much to do and too many people to see. gabo still haunts me. job offers. what do u do? u got a job. it's pretty good. one evil muthafuka to deal with but only one. some annoying moments but on the whole pretty cool place. we had the agm tonight. elyse and sarah performed their song. they were unreal. absolutely fantastic. made my heart warm.
don't know whether to do a clag website, webpage or tack onto someone else's site...
been working on the work website...
headfuck.
english exam next week.
ben quit his job.
his birthday this weekend.
katie and cameron's engagement.
seeing merv tomorrow.
gotta write to mom..
fuck. study. now.

mish mash

2009-10-29T12:48:00Z

so it seems i lost everything i had already written when interrupted by a 12 year old in desperate need of someone with a credit card to bid for some yugio cards on ebay for him.. but what a 12 year old. what a mum he has.. bettina graham rocks, let it be known. so the world is a weird place. people are fukn freaks. the community services are full of em. and some of em are just old hippies and basically good freaks.. but then there are the evil freaks, who just want to surround themselves with those more vulnerable than they are so that they can pretend they have some power over this thing we call life. they're everywhere..

but what do you do when you work somewhere that is like 75% fukn cool and 25% a complete fukn head fuck, and you've been offered another job...which on the surface seems cool, and much closer to you... as in yr spirit/energy whateva.. but u never know till yr there. do u risk something mostly good?

ben likes jo. ben is cool. jo is cool. wld be nice. talking to flex tonight about gabo vs biological imperative to breed. i love gabo. but too much. i won't do the drone or the subs fuck that govenment approved addiction shit. if i am going to be dependent on a chemical substance i want quality... mathadone is not a quality drug; it is eliterious to the body, brain and soul. i hate that fukn shit. wld i hate gabo if the government approved it? i don't fukn know. and fuck let's be honest there are excessive control issues involved. choosing the source.. weighing quality vs convenience, social aspects.

melbourne trri[... 1 -13th december. gotta finalise clag shit. that's all good. my head keeps coming back to work options tho... this is kid shit writing, but at least it's writing!!!!

life goes on...

2009-10-27T08:13:26Z

So i think it's been more than a week but at last i'm writing something again., had a colonoscopy today! fun.. not. but they did give me propofol.. so, i'm on the drug, i'm onthe dreg, i'm on the drug, that killed michael jackson.. mmm propofol. can't remember a thing, but wasn't really a 'fun' drug. just knocked me out! so had emotional breakdown on friday. reasons were multiple. think maybe part of it was i've jsut been incredibely contained emotionally with crazy shit surrounding me for so long the time had come to have a good cry. visited felxi, mitch and simon. dunno if it helped, dunno what helped. know i'm not feeling so bad now, but i think i'm full of anasthesia and still a bit off. why do people have to deliberately fuck with other people's lives? finished an esssay on the white tiger by adiga. good book. reading atonement by mcewan. it's up and down. read life of pi in the middle... didn't really do it for me. got vonneguts 'armageddon in retrospective', put together by his son. unreleased pieces, speeches and essays. got hollow earth by rucker but leant it to greg cos i've got so much to read. exams ar coming up. melbourne trip to finalise clag stuff coming up. gotta get the website up and going. wish i wasn't so darn fat. tried to raise the seat on greg's bike, but had no success. riding is my favourite exercise.. on a bmx. even with the brisbane hills. it's just more fun. and lets face it when 12 year olds are often taller than u are it is a nice frame size.
evil fuckers are everywhere.
good eggs are a valuable commodity.

apathy

2009-10-12T10:09:28Z

Seems i suffer from eternal apathy. i just read father bob maguire's blog
http://www.fatherbob.com.au/2009/10/08/life-goes-on/
and geez it makes me ashamed of myself. like the dude is ovewr 70 and here i am finding it hard to cope with a job, uni, a couple of minor side-projects and managing to upload a journal entry more regularly than once a month. and what really sucks is it's not like i don't spend copious amounts of time stuffing about on the pc. it just seems i've slipped into a process of rarely doing anything productive while sitting in front of the pc. is is because of uni? am i avoiding work, so avoiding writing... kirk cameron is giving away 50 000 copies of origin of species with a new introduction featuring creationism and proving that darwin was apparently a misogynist bastard.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/22/kirk-camerons-origin-of-s_n_294349.html
The world is a crazy place.

down at the farm...

2009-09-20T10:46:02Z

So spent the weekend down Stanthorpe way at Trent melnik's place. it was nice. bre from clag, matt and trent who i've known forever.. people dropping in who i haven't seen in 15 years. talkin old times and old crews. riding the horse, walking down to the 'beach house' (little cottage by the creek).. looking at the great granite formations of that part of the great dividing range. learning a couple of new chords. drinking too much beer... got an evil week ahead of me, but what a lovely way to prepare!

newbie

2009-09-18T05:43:10Z

new to LJ, having trouble joining communities. but i read. lots. various genres...

too much?

2009-09-18T05:35:16Z

Could it be that i am taking on too much? so two subjects at uni to finally finish off that dusty old BA. Full-time work, shifts, residential youth service. pretty good program really, anf awesome kids. then there is putting together and getting ready for release the clag comp, not to mention promotion of such. so i've got this film clip that wendel has made. i love it but have no idea how to promote it. Have applied for annual leave from work, two months in advance i might add, after working there for a full 12 months and being the good employee and never asking for more than 2 shifts off at a time prior to this.. taken maybe 7 of my accrued 35 days. have asked for a block of 7 days so i can go to melbourne and finalise the cd stuff, and jam, and visit and generally bloody relax. they can't tell me if this is possible, cos just like every ngo, particularly the small ones, there is the requisite 'infuriating (slightly psychotic) meddler'. this one, aside from constantly diagnosing the young people with various mental illnesses (what u think that's a psychiatrists job? apparently not).. she is also a manipulative freak, and the manager who is a good chick when it comes down to it is also unfortunately easily manipulated... and only the infuriating meddler is evil enough to play that. she has told everyone she has cancer. as horrible as it makes me feel i think she is full of shit and hasn't got cancer at all.
then there is the art related work projects i've got going on... and art exhibition for at risk youth being put together by community connections nundah at espresso train... three 17 year olds i need to get enthused.. then the big one applying for the creative sparks grant for the mural wall and exhibition project... and then pulling of the actual project...
while writing a reasearch essay for contemporary literature, followed by prep for an exam... and memorizing 10 weekws worth of linguistics terminology and modes and manner of articulation for that exam.. while gathering material for the clag cd..
they can't tell me if i can take the leave on the dates i want yet (timed so that those of my friends who work at universities (an inordinate number of them - very strange)as our 'cancer ridden' infuriating meddler does not know yet what date her elective surgery to remove the cancer will occur on... she went in for day surgery 'to get the cancer removed' six months ago, but they decided not to operate that day as 'something happened'... yeah must be pretty aggressive u psycho bunny, six months later, no cancer treatment whatsoever and they are calling it elective surgery? how stupid do u think we are?
but uni is good.
and clag is good.
and writing is good.
and the rest of staff and kids at work are good...
so really..
oh and fuck the spellcheck, it's too time consuming.. deal with it.

jim goad

2009-09-13T12:03:42Z

so i'm stuffing around on facebook today, avoiding studying for tomorrow's linguistics exam, playing with the new clag video. trying to get hold o the guy who's gonna put out the comp cd and there is a link to a picture of a michael jackson/ronal macdonald amalgam posted by andrew bulhalk.. so i follow it half interested and it's linked to live journal. a bunch of people are talking about how evil macdonalds are and questioning whether they deliberately made ronald michael like or whether michael did himself up to attract the kiddies. load of bullshit hysterics really. first time i've ever seen ronnie without a stupid red wig.. seemed like a joke/hoax.. then i saw that someone said it had come from lj and was posted by jim goad.. now many years ago I had a zine anthology in book form that was one of the most unreal things i have ever read in my life. it was called 'Answer Me' and was written by Jim goad.. so here fate presented me with an opportunity to see where things have progressed to since i last read his work... unfortunately i can't just join the community, have to wait for approval. what does that mean, do they have to check my cool rating or something? and lj says my email address hasn't been validated so it seems i can't yet send messages...
just got back from seeing district 9 with guy. enjoyed the carnage.. some nice exploding heads, plot lacked much in the way of originality. pretty standard formulaic alien movie (and i love sci-fi).. overtly obvious parallels between the way the aliens are treated and pre-apartheid south africa or really the treatment of any opressed group in earth history... almost hit you over the head with the fact that human beings can be nasty bastards.. i figure if you get past 30 and you haven't worked that out there is something seriously wrong with your thinking.. or you could perhaps be a hermit. Moeny and weapons rule the world...blah blah. visually quite nice tho. and the aliens reminded me of Reegs, aliens featured in some phillip k dick novels... that was ok...
so there's my first entry. fun.