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so it seems i lost everything i had already written when interrupted by a 12 year old in desperate need of someone with a credit card to bid for some yugio cards on ebay for him.. but what a 12 year old. what a mum he has.. bettina graham rocks, let it be known. so the world is a weird place. people are fukn freaks. the community services are full of em. and some of em are just old hippies and basically good freaks.. but then there are the evil freaks, who just want to surround themselves with those more vulnerable than they are so that they can pretend they have some power over this thing we call life. they're everywhere..
but what do you do when you work somewhere that is like 75% fukn cool and 25% a complete fukn head fuck, and you've been offered another job...which on the surface seems cool, and much closer to you... as in yr spirit/energy whateva.. but u never know till yr there. do u risk something mostly good?
ben likes jo. ben is cool. jo is cool. wld be nice. talking to flex tonight about gabo vs biological imperative to breed. i love gabo. but too much. i won't do the drone or the subs fuck that govenment approved addiction shit. if i am going to be dependent on a chemical substance i want quality... mathadone is not a quality drug; it is eliterious to the body, brain and soul. i hate that fukn shit. wld i hate gabo if the government approved it? i don't fukn know. and fuck let's be honest there are excessive control issues involved. choosing the source.. weighing quality vs convenience, social aspects.
melbourne trri[... 1 -13th december. gotta finalise clag shit. that's all good. my head keeps coming back to work options tho... this is kid shit writing, but at least it's writing!!!!
Tags: felix, gabo, guy, work
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So i think it's been more than a week but at last i'm writing something again., had a colonoscopy today! fun.. not. but they did give me propofol.. so, i'm on the drug, i'm onthe dreg, i'm on the drug, that killed michael jackson.. mmm propofol. can't remember a thing, but wasn't really a 'fun' drug. just knocked me out! so had emotional breakdown on friday. reasons were multiple. think maybe part of it was i've jsut been incredibely contained emotionally with crazy shit surrounding me for so long the time had come to have a good cry. visited felxi, mitch and simon. dunno if it helped, dunno what helped. know i'm not feeling so bad now, but i think i'm full of anasthesia and still a bit off. why do people have to deliberately fuck with other people's lives? finished an esssay on the white tiger by adiga. good book. reading atonement by mcewan. it's up and down. read life of pi in the middle... didn't really do it for me. got vonneguts 'armageddon in retrospective', put together by his son. unreleased pieces, speeches and essays. got hollow earth by rucker but leant it to greg cos i've got so much to read. exams ar coming up. melbourne trip to finalise clag stuff coming up. gotta get the website up and going. wish i wasn't so darn fat. tried to raise the seat on greg's bike, but had no success. riding is my favourite exercise.. on a bmx. even with the brisbane hills. it's just more fun. and lets face it when 12 year olds are often taller than u are it is a nice frame size.evil fuckers are everywhere. good eggs are a valuable commodity. Tags: bmx, emotional breakdown, propofol
Current Mood:  high
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astrobek's journal
anxious
apathetic
a little